60 Austin Powers Quotes to Make You Laugh

It’s hard not to laugh at these stupid-hilarious Austin Powers quotes from the British superspy.

Austin Powers is that crime-fighting, woman-loving hero that we all love to laugh with. He is a British spy from the 1960s who was cryogenically frozen and brought back in the 1990s in America.

Many of the laughing points of the movies are based on the differences between London in the 1960s and America in the late 1990s.

Austin Powers is famous for his “mojo”. It is his combination of confidence, charm, and swag that allows him to succeed in all situations. He has a trilogy of movies and you will be laughing from the first through the third movie.

Don’t forget to also check out these Dr. Evil quotes from the comical bad guy.

Funny Austin Powers Quotes, Lines and Phrases

1. “She’s the village bicycle! Everyone’s had a ride.” – Austin Powers

2. “I never forget a pussy… cat.” – Austin Powers

3. “There are only two things I can’t stand in this world: People who are intolerant of other people’s cultures… and the Dutch.” – Austin Powers

4. “You know what’s remarkable? That England looks in no way like Southern California.” – Austin Powers

5. “No, don’t be sorry, baby. You’re right to be suspicious. I shagged her.” – Austin Powers

6. “How Do You Like To Do It? Do You Like To Wash Up First?” – Austin Powers

7. “Well, You Might Be A Cunning Linguist, But I’m A Master Debater.” – Austin Powers

8. “Name? Austin Danger Powers. Sex? Yes please!” – Austin Powers

9. “My God, Vanessa’s got a fabulous body… I bet she shags like a minx… How do I let them know because of the unfreezing process, I have no inner monologue? I hope I didn’t just say that all out loud just now.” – Austin Powers

10. “Only two things scare me and one of them is nuclear war. Carnies. Circus folk. Nomads, you know. Smell like cabbage. Small hands.” – Austin Powers

11. “Pardon me for being rude, it was not me it was my food, it just popped up to say hello, but now it’s gone back down below.” – Austin Powers

12. “Well, no offense, but if that is a woman it does look like she was beaten with an ugly stick!” – Austin Powers

13. “That really hurt! I’m gonna have a lump there, you idiot! Who throws a shoe? Honestly! You fight like a woman!” – Austin Powers

Best Austin Power quotes and lines

14. “Wait Vanessa, I can explain. You see, I was looking for Dr. Evil when the Fembots came out and smoke started coming out of their jomblies. So I started to work my mojo, to counter their mojo; we got cross-mojulation, and their heads started exploding.” – Austin Powers

15. “That’s fascinating, Vanessa. Listen, why don’t we go in the back and shag?” – Austin Powers

16. “My meat and two veg. My twig and berries. H-ello, lads, are you still awake?” – Austin Powers

17. “I think you’re shagedelic baby! You’re switched on! You’re smashing!” – Austin Powers

18. “First, I plan to soil myself. Then I’m going to regroup and come up with a new plan. Any thoughts?” – Austin Powers

19. “I eat because I am unhappy. I’m unhappy because I eat.” – Austin Powers

20. “The 70s and the 80s? You’re not missing anything, believe me. I’ve looked into it. There’s a gas shortage and A Flock of Seagulls. That’s about it.” – Austin Powers

21. “I hate you! I hate you! I wish I was never artificially created in a lab!” – Austin Powers

22. “You know, Dr. Evil, I have always thought you were crazy, but now I can see you’re nuts.” – Austin Powers

23. “There’s only two things I hate in this world. People who are intolerant of other people’s cultures and the Dutch.” – Austin Powers

24. “Well, you make me many things but sleepy’s not one of them.” – Austin Powers

25. “No, I mean, literally, HOW could you do it? The man’s so fat, the sheer mechanics of it are mind-boggling.” – Austin Powers

26. “Well, of course, you haven’t had the pleasure, Rebecca. We just met, baby, yeah.” – Austin Powers

Austin Powers Quotes About Current Times

27. “Oh, smashing, groovy, yay capitalism!” – Austin Powers

28. “Jimi Hendrix Deceased, Drugs. Janis Joplin Deceased, Alcohol. Mama Cass Deceased, Ham Sandwich.” – Austin Powers

29. “What we swingers were going against were uptight squares like you whose bag was money and world domination. We were innocent man.” – Austin Powers

30. “No doubt, love, but as long as people are still having promiscuous sex with many anonymous partners without protection while at the same time experimenting with mind-expanding drugs in a consequence-free environment, I’ll be sound as a pound!” – Austin Powers

31. “Well everyone has their own flying car, entire meals come in pill form, and the Earth is run by damn dirty apes.” – Austin Powers

Famous Austin Powers Quotes

32. “Yeah, baby, yeah” – Austin Powers

33. “Actually, my name is Austin Powers. Danger is my middle name.” – Austin Powers

34. “So, shall we shag now, or shall we shag later?” – Austin Powers

35. “Ooo, Behave!” – Austin Powers

36. “I won’t bite… hard.” – Austin Powers

37. “Do I make you horny? Randy? Do I make you horny, baby, yeah, do I?” – Austin Powers

38. “Judo chop!” – Austin Powers

39. “I shagged her rotten, baby, yeah!” – Austin Powers

40. “Well, I “vana” toilet made out of solid gold, but it’s just not in the cards now is it?” – Austin Powers

41. “Grr, baby! Very grr!” – Austin Powers

42. “I’ve lost my mojo.” – Austin Powers

Other famous Austin Powers quotes and lines

43. “I open-mouth kissed a horse once.” – Austin Powers

44. “I am a sexy beast.” – Austin Powers

45. “You really are a fat bastard!” – Austin Powers

46. “Dr. Evil’s not your son! I am!” – Austin Powers

47. “Smashing, Basil. A pimp-mobile.” – Austin Powers

48. “I choose love, baby!” – Austin Powers

49. “Powers by name, powers by reputation.” – Austin Powers

50. “It turns out that Vanessa was a fembot.” – Austin Powers

Austin Powers quotes from the movies and other characters

51. “I love gold.” — Goldmember

52. “They ARE after my Lucky Charms!” — Paddy O’Brien

53. “I don’t kiss and tell. I shag and brag, baby!” — Austin Powers

54. “No, this is me in a nutshell: Help! I’m in a nutshell!” — Austin Powers

55. “You’re the diet coke of evil. Just one calorie. Not evil enough.” — Dr. Evil

56. “Are those frickin sharks with frickin laser beams attached to their heads?” — Austin Powers

57. “I’m not saying it’s hot, but I’m pretty sure the thermometer reads ‘Satan’s Balls.’” — Dr. Evil

58. “Personally, before I’m on the job, I like to give my undercarriage a bit of a ‘How’s-Your-Father.’” — Austin Powers

59. “I mean look at you. You don’t even have a name tag. You’ve got no chance. Why don’t you just fall down?” — Nigel Powers

60. “My father would womanize. He would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark.” — Dr. Evil

Which of these Austin Powers quotes is your favorite?

After laughing at the quotes above make sure you rent the Austin Powers movies. We all need to laugh more and these movies will keep you laughing from start to finish. Austin Powers is a hilarious character and the cast of characters he interacts with really keeps you laughing.

These movies are for those times when you don’t want to take yourself or anything else too seriously and just want to laugh and smile. Mike Myers stars as Austin Powers and Dr. Evil and he also wrote the movies. Austin Powers is the superspy for all of the ordinary people and you will find yourself cheering for him and repeating his one-liners for a long time.

Did you enjoy reading these Austin Powers quotes and lines? Which of the quotes is your favorite?